Messages from the past

Years ago I set up a Friends Reunited page but never really did anything with it.

This morning I had an e-mail to say I had received a message on my profile there. I duly signed in and read the message only to be hit with an unwelcome blast from the past.

It was from the ex-boyfriend who insisted on waking me up by having intercourse with me – despite the fact that it used to send me into flashback EVERY time he did it. He knew it did this and I begged him not to start anything until I was fully awake in order for me to have my defence barriers in place but he ignored these pleas. I believe the term is date-rape? I maybe wrong but I think that is correct. I still need to get that fact correct in my mind.

It is the second time he has sent me a message asking me how I am, what I am up to and where I am. It will be the second time I ignore it but it doesn’t detract from the fact that it sent my mind whirling back to those nights I woke up in a cold sweat, not knowing where I was or who was on top of me or even whether I was an 8 year old child or an adult. It doesn’t change the fact that all day he has had me frantically scrabbling around to hurl up the barriers of protection.

Suffice it to say he is now blocked on Friends Reunited now. I think I probably need to de-activate my account.

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