Gratefulness Guilt

Every day on social media I see at least one share of a “you should be grateful” picture.

Every day.

Every single day those “motivational” meaning well pictures throw me into a mind spasm of guilt because they do exactly the opposite. They make me feel awful because whilst I am grateful for the good parts of my life I can’t forget that the opposite was true for so long. That then makes me feel guilty that I am not openly grateful.

I love the fact that I have a wonderful, bright, healthy family and I see one of those pictures and I feel guilty that I am not continually happy because of it.

I love the fact that our business seems to be going from strength to strength but that “you have a roof over your head” meme I see throws me into doubt.

I use energy every day to simply make it from morning to night without sobbing.

I use energy I don’t have because I am trying to survive on about three hours sleep at night and I don’t mind that because my children need me more than ever at the moment but it does mean that I have no motivation to find that positivity that Facebook tells me daily I should be finding and that in itself is tiring.

I try not to wallow but please stop bombarding me with what I should be feeling because I can’t do it. And for that I feel guilty and even more of a failure..

Is it just me?

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